A Marine colonel on his way home from work at the Pentagon came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, 'Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's even moving.' He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolls down his window and asks, 'Excuse me, Officer, what's the hold up?'

The Officer replies, 'President Bush is just so depressed about being behind in the polls that he stopped his motorcade in the middle of the Beltway and he's threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire. He says he can't find donators to give him money for his campaign. I'm walking around taking up a collection for him.' 'Oh really? How much have you collected so far?' 'So far only about three hundred gallons, but I've got a lot of folks still siphoning!'