Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found hard at work at his desk. He works independently, without wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and always finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be classed as an asset employee, the type which cannot be dispensed with. Consequently, I recommend that Bob be promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be executed as soon as possible.

Get ready for the punchline that's out of this world!